This is the ninth post about the making of my wall installation regarding Apple and the EEOC. To read the whole series from the beginning, start with It's Raining Men, then Somewhere Over the Rainbow, Have You Ever Seen the Rain, Purple Rain, Heavy Cloud No Rain, Both Sides Now, Clouds in my Coffee, and Glass Half Full of Rain.
This month marks the five-year anniversary of asking the EEOC to close my case. After a full year of federal investigators breaking laws, using intimidation tactics, and giving Apple a wide berth to commit ongoing legal abuse, I surveyed the price I'd already paid, and the fruitless fight ahead. I had to accept that despite my sunk costs, there was no chance of winning this rigged game. And despite knowing this was the strategic aim of Apple's retaliation, I had reached my breaking point.
What I could control was shifting my focus to the life ahead of me. I could stop the bleeding, and give myself time and space to heal.
At first, I just set out to sit at the pottery wheel like so many soul-crushed tech workers in San Francisco. It would take years before I would even imagine, then find the wherewithal, to share what happened through my art.
And now, this project is coming to an end too.
As it does, I want to return to the question of cost. Since sharing the project's startup costs, there have been additional materials, supplies, and services, including:
- kiln firing services for the large clouds ($240 to date, ongoing)
- crates for transporting clouds to offsite firings ($140)
- gold luster fluctuates with the market, currently 5 grams ($184) + a fluid writer pen ($20)
- wire, including trial and error of different metals and gauges ($250)
- assorted jewelry pliers ($100)
Roughly an additional $1000, bringing the upfront costs to $2000. For scale, that's two raindrops. A fortune for me personally and very decidedly not a fortune for any of my former male coworkers.
Zooming out from this immediate impact, the costs ripple. There's the wear and tear on my equipment and body. My studio rent and utilities. And the opportunity cost, which is immeasurable, but big. What else could I have done with this time, this money? What impact could I have had on other causes that matter to me?
I paid for this wall hanging out of my own pocket. I invested in myself as an artist because I believe in the importance of this story being known and not silenced. This is not a hero's journey, it's a story of going up against the system and not winning. The media celebrates and clings to successful whistleblowers, but they are the exception. Equal pay regulation is a façade. Are we really OK with that?
I don't know how to fix it, but I'm hoping that someone who sees this artwork will. In the next post, I will ask for your help sharing it.
She acts like summer and walks like rain
Reminds me that there's time to change
—Train